No doubt about it, Evie loves people. Even more than that, she loves people who love her. And she has her fair share of admirers. As a parent, it's certainly wonderful to have people tell you how adorable or sweet or beautiful your child is. Some form of narcissistic pride kicks in, like "oh, look what I created." On the other hand, and boy will this sound terrible, sometimes the comments can be too much. Evie now KNOWS that people think she's cute. And she hams it up. If she's trying to get someones attention and they don't give it to her, she is noticeably shocked and looks to me as if to say "what is wrong with that person?".
Yesterday we went into the city to meet a friend for lunch. The train rides there and back were sheer euphoria for my little ham. On the way down, a rotation of people commented on how cute, funny, adorable, etc Evie was. Each time the comment was met with a huge grin and some funny action like a head nod or hand clap. She was egging it on! When we arrived at the restaurant, we were surrounded by business men and women who had zero interest in seeing Evie. She repeatedly tried to get noticed by the surrounding tables and repeatedly was ignored. After about 15 minutes of this, she had had it and started screaching for attention. When that still didn't work, she wormed her way out of the booth and tried to walk to various tables. When I attempted to stop her, she got upset. We left shortly thereafter. I won't be going downtown for lunch during the week again anytime soon! On the train ride home she was once again her bubbly self, flirting with all the onlookers. She had a full audience, and she played to each person. Evie doesn't discriminate on who she flirts with either; young and old, all ethnicities, men, women, and other children. She'll take any and all eyes on her. Great...
As we approached home, she was wriggling free to walk on the sidewalk. I let her down and she ran up to our courtyard gate. Staring inside, one foot propped on the gate, she was almost posing. Just then, two Italian men walked by. "Is she yours?" one asked. "Yes" I replied. "Just beautiful. Gorgeous really". They walked past her and she called after them "Hiiiiii!", waving. They turned and waved back and kept walking. "La la la la la!" she hollered. They turned back, now halfway down the sidewalk, and waved again "Hi baby!". They continued walking. "Hiiiiiiii hiii hiiii". At the corner, they stopped and continued calling back and forth with her for at least a minute. TWO MEN! And they might have even been straight! What on earth!? When they finally left, she turned back to me with a huge smile on her face and ran into my arms for a big hug. I think she was proud of the whole exchange.
So, I realize I sound perhaps conceited, or ungrateful. I just don't want her to think that being cute or beautiful is all there is. And while it's funny to see her play to this a bit, it's also worrisome at times. I don't want her to become that bratty little girl on the playground who knows she is cute and therefore
thinks she can get away with anything. Or worse, the teenager who thinks the same way. Her poor grandparents are left to deal with my neuroses on this issue, knowing full well I'd rather them tell her she's "smart, capable, or strong" than "pretty, cute, or adorable". Each time they make a comment about her appearance, they quickly follow up by saying how smart she is. I know it's my job as a parent to try to instill in her the values I find important, but the external world plays such a huge role in how those values are often shaped. Inside I find myself responding to their kind offerings with "yes, she's cute, but PLEASE don't tell her that!"
Yesterday we went into the city to meet a friend for lunch. The train rides there and back were sheer euphoria for my little ham. On the way down, a rotation of people commented on how cute, funny, adorable, etc Evie was. Each time the comment was met with a huge grin and some funny action like a head nod or hand clap. She was egging it on! When we arrived at the restaurant, we were surrounded by business men and women who had zero interest in seeing Evie. She repeatedly tried to get noticed by the surrounding tables and repeatedly was ignored. After about 15 minutes of this, she had had it and started screaching for attention. When that still didn't work, she wormed her way out of the booth and tried to walk to various tables. When I attempted to stop her, she got upset. We left shortly thereafter. I won't be going downtown for lunch during the week again anytime soon! On the train ride home she was once again her bubbly self, flirting with all the onlookers. She had a full audience, and she played to each person. Evie doesn't discriminate on who she flirts with either; young and old, all ethnicities, men, women, and other children. She'll take any and all eyes on her. Great...
As we approached home, she was wriggling free to walk on the sidewalk. I let her down and she ran up to our courtyard gate. Staring inside, one foot propped on the gate, she was almost posing. Just then, two Italian men walked by. "Is she yours?" one asked. "Yes" I replied. "Just beautiful. Gorgeous really". They walked past her and she called after them "Hiiiiii!", waving. They turned and waved back and kept walking. "La la la la la!" she hollered. They turned back, now halfway down the sidewalk, and waved again "Hi baby!". They continued walking. "Hiiiiiiii hiii hiiii". At the corner, they stopped and continued calling back and forth with her for at least a minute. TWO MEN! And they might have even been straight! What on earth!? When they finally left, she turned back to me with a huge smile on her face and ran into my arms for a big hug. I think she was proud of the whole exchange. So, I realize I sound perhaps conceited, or ungrateful. I just don't want her to think that being cute or beautiful is all there is. And while it's funny to see her play to this a bit, it's also worrisome at times. I don't want her to become that bratty little girl on the playground who knows she is cute and therefore
thinks she can get away with anything. Or worse, the teenager who thinks the same way. Her poor grandparents are left to deal with my neuroses on this issue, knowing full well I'd rather them tell her she's "smart, capable, or strong" than "pretty, cute, or adorable". Each time they make a comment about her appearance, they quickly follow up by saying how smart she is. I know it's my job as a parent to try to instill in her the values I find important, but the external world plays such a huge role in how those values are often shaped. Inside I find myself responding to their kind offerings with "yes, she's cute, but PLEASE don't tell her that!"
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