We've been back from the Cape for just under two weeks now and it has been an adjustment on many levels. Without question, Evie misses her Nana & Grandpa and often asks for them. She makes her Nana's trademark "oo-oo-Ooot" call and then says "Nana?", or points to some passersby on the street and asks "Papa?" (Evie hasn't quite figured out how to say Grandpa...). She undoubtedly misses her daily trips to the beach, and reminds me of this by gathering up her towel, bathing suit, hat, and sunblock and either attempting to put them on or bringing them to me to put on. The first time I decided to take her to a local park with a water feature, we brought along all of these things and she got incredibly excited. Much to her disappointment, there was no beach when we arrived. And she truly did look disappointed! I join her in missing our time on the Cape. It was wonderful watching her with her grandparents and also getting some much needed time to myself to read, sleep, run, cook, or just take a nice long outdoor shower. And, you really can't beat going to the beach every day.
But, we're getting back into the groove of things since returning home. I love Chicago and our home here, so it's nice to be back. Since we've returned, Evie has really mastered her climbing skills. Twice I've found her standing smack dab in the middle of our dining room table. She pulls out a chair, wriggles up onto it, and then uses it to get onto the table. I don't have a picture of this because I'm trying not to reinforce the behavior. Instead, I'm trying to encourage where climbing is appropriate. For example, it would be lovely if she'd once again climb up our two flights of stairs to the condo so I don't have to carry her. So far, she has decided that's a behavior she is done with. We have a daily battle about going back up the stairs when returning for her nap. I let her out of her stroller and say "Evie, would you like to hold my hand, or go up the stairs on your own?", at which point she shakes her head no, sticks her arms in the air and shows she wants me to carry her. But, she's capable of doing it on her own, and I want to encourage safe climbing, so I tell her "No, I'm not going to carry you. You can hold my hand or do it on your own." She then drops to the ground and throws a tantrum. Trying to remain cool, I say "Bummer Evie, looks like you chose to do it on your own. See you upstairs. Bye bye" and walk away. She cries for about 2-4 minutes before coming up on her own and she even closes the door behind her! Despite her knowing full well that she can do it on her own, we repeat this scene every morning. I'm sure our neighbors just love it...
She's gotten even better at her playground skills with this new climbing strength. She is mastering ladders and a number of other playground obstacles. Today, with a friend of mine,
Evie had climbed up to the top of a ladder and was preparing to go down a slide on her own. My friend cautioned this was about to happen, and I said "she's fine!", and she was. She flipped onto her belly and went down the slide on her own. My friend seemed dismayed--she's fairly overprotective of her daughter--perhaps she sees me as being delinquent with Evie. But, I feel strongly Evie is as capable as I allow her to be. It's one of the reasons we're considering Montessori preschool for her. I like the idea of helping her help herself. I think it builds confidence from within rather than from me always telling her "good job". I'd rather see her get that accomplished grin of "I did it!" than me having to grade her with my view.
I actually try to refrain from telling her good job too often, I think it sets her up to believe she needs the approval to come from someone other than herself. It's actually hard work not to say it all the time. I think it's ingrained in our culture -- people say it to their kids ALL the time. "Did you wash your hands? Good job!" "Did you color on that paper? Good job!" "Oh, you ate that food! Good job!" Instead, I'm trying to ask her her opinion (even though she doesn't have the words to share it with me yet), "Do you like coloring, Evie?" "What do you think of that red pepper?" But, I digress. Suffice it to say, it's something I'm working on!
Anyway, the climbing skills are also coming in handy in the kitchen. We bought something called the Learning Tower (I can't recall if I've described it in other posts). The tower was created by someone with a Montessori background who was helping to address the idea that small children throw tantrums/get frustrated because the world is built in a way they cannot access/be helpful in. So, this tower allows her to be up where I am in the kitchen. We got it before the Cape and she didn't quite love it yet, but since being back, she's totally in to it. This morning, she was dragging the thing over to the kitchen sink because she wanted to wash her hands. It's large and heavy, so this was no easy task. It has little slots to climb up on the side, and she climbs into it when I'm preparing lunch or dinner so that she can watch and help out. The other day I was making her hemp milk and she was interested, so up she went. She watched me pour water and hemp into the blender and then took a handful of hemp and ate it while I blended that with a few dates for calcium and a touch of sweetness. She also helped herself to a date, and ohmygosh was she impressed by that. Making dinner the other night, I was chopping veggies and she climbed up to get a better view. She sampled red and yellow pepper, zucchini, eggplant, tempeh, olives, tomatoes, etc. She loves helping me wash the dishes too. I give her a sponge and something plastic and show her how she can wash it. The soap is her favorite part. That and squeezing water out of the sponge. While it can be messy, it's a lot of fun. I figure she's learning a lot, and she no longer throws her kitchen "pick me up and hold me" tantrums which were a 3xs day occurrence each time I prepared a meal.
All in all, it's clear we've entered the full throws of toddlerhood and the tantrums that accompany it. I'm working on my patience and am often frustrated with her behavior. But, I try not to show that to her. I can remember my parents telling me they went to parenting classes right around the time my older sister was this age. I can see why. Will and I are learning day by day how to parent these new behaviors and it isn't easy. But, just as many tantrums as she throws a day, there are twice as many laugh out loud or "I love you moments", so I have to remind myself of that each time she throws herself onto the floor in protest of whatever terrible thing I seem to have done.
But, we're getting back into the groove of things since returning home. I love Chicago and our home here, so it's nice to be back. Since we've returned, Evie has really mastered her climbing skills. Twice I've found her standing smack dab in the middle of our dining room table. She pulls out a chair, wriggles up onto it, and then uses it to get onto the table. I don't have a picture of this because I'm trying not to reinforce the behavior. Instead, I'm trying to encourage where climbing is appropriate. For example, it would be lovely if she'd once again climb up our two flights of stairs to the condo so I don't have to carry her. So far, she has decided that's a behavior she is done with. We have a daily battle about going back up the stairs when returning for her nap. I let her out of her stroller and say "Evie, would you like to hold my hand, or go up the stairs on your own?", at which point she shakes her head no, sticks her arms in the air and shows she wants me to carry her. But, she's capable of doing it on her own, and I want to encourage safe climbing, so I tell her "No, I'm not going to carry you. You can hold my hand or do it on your own." She then drops to the ground and throws a tantrum. Trying to remain cool, I say "Bummer Evie, looks like you chose to do it on your own. See you upstairs. Bye bye" and walk away. She cries for about 2-4 minutes before coming up on her own and she even closes the door behind her! Despite her knowing full well that she can do it on her own, we repeat this scene every morning. I'm sure our neighbors just love it...
She's gotten even better at her playground skills with this new climbing strength. She is mastering ladders and a number of other playground obstacles. Today, with a friend of mine,
 |
| Atop an arced ladder she climbed on her own |
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| With a handful of hemp |
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| Wiping the tower after getting soapy water all over it |
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| Munching veggies. Don't worry, the knife looks much closer than it is!! |
All in all, it's clear we've entered the full throws of toddlerhood and the tantrums that accompany it. I'm working on my patience and am often frustrated with her behavior. But, I try not to show that to her. I can remember my parents telling me they went to parenting classes right around the time my older sister was this age. I can see why. Will and I are learning day by day how to parent these new behaviors and it isn't easy. But, just as many tantrums as she throws a day, there are twice as many laugh out loud or "I love you moments", so I have to remind myself of that each time she throws herself onto the floor in protest of whatever terrible thing I seem to have done.
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