Montessori Madness

Evie is growing up.  Friends with kids the same age are already freaking out about preschools and the competition to secure a spot for their little ones.  I hadn't given it much thought.  She's 18 months old though, and apparently if you want a spot in a "good" preschools program for 3 and 4 year olds you stand a better chance getting in if you start your child when they are 2.  It seems insane.  It is insane.  It's sadly a part of mainstream culture these days and I am stuck somewhere between wanting to buck the trend and taking the reigns to lead the pack.

So, as a part of all of this, I signed Evie up for a Montessori parent/toddler introductory course.  While Will and I are still deciding about what type of schools we want to enroll Evie in for preschool and beyond, the nice thing about the Montessori program is it provides both Evie and I with practical skills for our daily life.  The idea behind Montessori is rooted in the finding that children are as capable as we allow them to be.  In other words, if I help Evie to be independent in a productive way, she will use those skills to help out.  But, if I do everything for her until an older age, then she'll assert her independence by saying "no" to simple requests and wonder why I'm asking for her help anyway since I would have clearly taught her my role was to do everything and her role was to sit there and be taken care of.  Makes sense. 

Ladies who brunch; Evie & two
older friends eat together.

The shift is taking some getting used to, mostly on the part of Will and me.  Instead of sippy cups and plastic dishes (built to make life as a parent easier... less spills, no breakable things to clean up, etc), Montessori education believes children should use small versions of real adult things.  So, small real glasses for drinking, small plates, small silverware, and most of all no sippy cups.  Every spill is an opportunity to learn how to clean up and to understand liquids.  Every broken dish a lesson in how to be more careful and cause and effect. Now that Evie is stable on her feet, Montessori believes she should be helping to set the table and clear her own dishes afterward, and participating in daily family life in other productive ways (i.e. loading and unloading the dishwasher, bathing herself, brushing her own hair, putting on her own shoes and clothes).    

Evie put on her slippers

So, we've started to implement some of the ideas.  Evie is loving it.  She gets excited about helping carry her dishes and pouring her own water.  She was incredibly proud of herself today after putting on her own shoes (never mind them being on the wrong feet!).  She's still enjoying helping me cook (which she calls "cookie").  She likes cutting her bread at breakfast and spreading on the homemade hazelnut spread.  She has even started using the potty (though not consistently).

Drinking from her
big girl cup

All of this takes quite a bit more time and effort on my part, but I see it paying off in her attitude when I ask for her help or make a simple request that she not do something.  I compare her to some of our playgroup and notice how she and Charlie (another boy also enrolled in Montessori) are by far more responsive of requests than the other kids in the group.  Some of the moms have made comments to Sarah (Charlie's mom) and me that we have such easy kids.  I do believe that each child has their own personality, but also think that certain parenting skills can aid or worsen certain behaviors.  Just in the two short weeks since starting this class, Evie has been much easier to parent.  Or maybe it's just that I'm learning how to parent her more effectively. 

She crawled on this chair
to eat her apple

Now that I've written this, she'll of course go on a massive stretch of temper tantrums and defiant behavior just to prove me wrong!