Are you big happy?

This is the question of the day. It started a few weeks ago on a drive to school when I told Evie I wasn't very happy she had taken off her shoes.  She then said "mama, are you a lil bit sad?"

Enjoying the pie-for-breakfast
tradition on mom's birthday

"Yes, Evie, I'm sad you took off your shoes."

"Whyyyyy?"

"Because we are already running late for school, and now we'll have to spend time putting your shoes on again once we're there."

Long pause.

"Mama, are you happy?"

Now it was time for me to pause.

A chilly summer day. Evie chose the outfit.

"Yes, actually, I am. I am happy you're acting nicely and not screaming or kicking the seat. I'm happy that it's a beautiful day. And, I'm happy to be taking you to school since you like it so much. But, I'm still a little bit sad that you took your shoes off."

This has since morphed into Evie constantly asking Will or I whether we're a little bit happy, or if we're "big happy".  Love the translation.  Many days we are big happy.  She is a riot to watch grow up.  She gives big hugs to my belly, and talks to baby sister. She is getting good about getting ready for school, putting on shoes, clearing her plate, etc. And she has A LOT to say.

Yesterday we were walking down to the park and she saw a woman walking her dog.  She ran off full boar toward them, with me waddling along calling behind her to slow down and ask if it was a friendly dog. Fortunately, it was.  When I caught up, I heard her turn to the woman and say "What's your name?" and then very matter of factly, "my name is Evie. What's the doggies name?" She was already all over the dog, letting it lick her face and rubbing his belly.  It's so fun to watch her continue to become this little person. Will came walking up shortly thereafter, and she let him know she was "having a conversation". 

For all the fun moments, there are of course the challenging ones. But they seem to dissipate quickly so long as I remember to not overreact to them.  Which isn't always easy to do.  I read somewhere recently that parents whose kids have tantrums should be applauded, because it means they aren't giving in, and are setting limits.  While I don't believe that's always true of all kids (i.e. some kids throw tantrums precisely because there are no limits and they're used to getting their way), I have noticed that Evie's tantrums are predictable and relatively short.  They usually come if we haven't adequately prepared her for a transition.  For example, if she's eating breakfast and we're running late and need to leave, I can avoid the tantrum by giving her a 5 minute warning or even better asking if she wants to leave "now, or in five minutes" to which she almost always responds "5 minutes".  Once those are up, 99% of the time she doesn't fight me that it's time to go.  If I'm hurrying around, forget to tell her it's almost time to leave or to do something else, and then suddenly spring it on her, it's a disaster.  I guess it makes sense -- just wanting some element of control in your own little life.

Enjoying her perhaps
second hot dog ever, at
the Bluegrass fest on Cape

The other predictable tantrum involves any time she has to go in the car seat.  She has hated that thing from day 1.  I can't blame her. The straps don't budge and she's totally trapped. We try putting on music she likes, or giving her toys to distract her, but she has a short lifespan in the car.  Especially if she's hungry or tired (like every day when I pick her up from school).  The one thing that seems to be working there is that the first few times she threw really bad tantrums I sent her straight to her room when we got home.  She now knows if she screams in the car, she can expect to have to go straight to her room whenever we get home.  A brief reminder of that curbs most car tantrums.  Unfortunately not all - but you can't win all the time, I suppose.

En route to the Vineyard. On grandpa's
favorite boat, the Island Queen

I'm both nervous and excited to see how she reacts once her baby sister arrives.  I've heard all sorts of advice on how to handle the transition. But, ultimately, I think we're just going to have to see how it plays out.  Take it day by day.  Crazy to think the due date is less than three weeks away. Summer flew by.

On her phone, pushing her babies

Our summer was spent in Florida and Cape Cod, and a bit at home.  All three places were wonderful to be.  At home, we spent most days at the pool with Sloan and Fallon. Florida was hot as could be, so we spent most mornings at the beach and the rest of the time inside. And the Cape, as always, was gorgeous almost every day.  Evie loves the sand and water so much, we happily spent most mornings and afternoons at the beach.  She also had a great time gardening with her Nana and Grandpa - helping to pick tomatoes (mostly eating them straight off the plant), and helping to weed Nana's garden.  We are so lucky to have had such a wonderful peaceful summer to enjoy before the craziness of having two begins.

Evie dressed up to help Dadu in the new kitchen

BFFs - Evie wouldn't hold
anyone's hand but Sloan's

We were also incredibly lucky to be able to be out of town while our kitchen was redone - but that's a whole other story.  Suffice it to say, it's lovely to be back in the comfort of our own home, now made a little bit more comfortable by the renovations.  I have been intensely nesting since we returned from the Cape and Will and I have never been so productive. We first had to get the kitchen up and running, clean the entire house, paint the powder room, find a dresser for the babies room and then set up the babies room, paint (and paint and paint and paint) the big girl bed we purchased off Craigslist for Evie, set that up, do lots of yard work, and so on and so forth.  The to do list continues, and we seem to keep knocking things off. Neither of us really knows what to expect from a second child.  All we can hope for is that she is healthy, and a better sleeper than Evie! Otherwise, we're just trying to have as many things around the house in order to help make the transition a little easier on us all.  And when she is born, we'll all be "big happy" to have her join our little family.